Mr. Winnfield
Tuxedo Wagon Staff
English motherfucker, doest thou speak it?
Posts: 85
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Post by Mr. Winnfield on Jun 14, 2006 18:03:49 GMT -5
Please vote carefully, taking much time to consider the true winner. THE CANDIDATES: CoxyCoxy's SpaceCoxy's Face:Points to consider: - Quite a gay background. - Can't hold onto a hat to save his life. While some say that an adult in higher education shouldn't have to take his hat off his head to stop another fully-grown adult in higher education from snatching it, I say it is this kind of laziness and social dredgery that has led to the increase in stupid beanie hats. - Likes U2. - His MSN space is worse. Check that shit. Features: poems about Deal Or No Deal, attempts at irony that fall so flat on their arse they've turned their coxyx to rubble. - Likes U2. - Failed to defend himself when Karl kicked the living crap out of him. Cast your votes now.
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Mr. Queen
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Post by Mr. Queen on Jun 14, 2006 18:07:06 GMT -5
Ouch - that's harsh. >_<
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Mr. Winnfield
Tuxedo Wagon Staff
English motherfucker, doest thou speak it?
Posts: 85
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Post by Mr. Winnfield on Jun 14, 2006 18:09:17 GMT -5
It's his own damn fault for standing so close to that dumpster.
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Mr. Queen
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Post by Mr. Queen on Jun 14, 2006 18:15:33 GMT -5
I did feel awful after that, though. It's like, I only meant to mess around, you know when you pretend to hit somebody? But I was a bit rough, and then- then the- the dumpster! And- and boom!! A day that will live in infamy - a stain on my nearly-peaceful history. I don't think Coxy was too pleased, either.
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Mr. Winnfield
Tuxedo Wagon Staff
English motherfucker, doest thou speak it?
Posts: 85
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Post by Mr. Winnfield on Jun 14, 2006 18:16:04 GMT -5
OK, this is a bit rude on Coxy, even if he does like U2.
So I open the invitation:
Find the WORST MySpace in history and win a prize. It can be rubbish for any number of reasons, poor design, the person's a moron (the two usually come hand in hand), it's Coxy - anything at all.
I'm off to find a MySpace that will crash the sturdiest of Macs with its never-ending cavalcade of YouTube links, massive animated .GIFs saying "TAHNK YOU FOR THE ADD LOL" and photos taken at angles so high that they enduce vertigo.
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Mr. Queen
Tuxedo Wagon Staff
Very Suspicious Supermarket
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Post by Mr. Queen on Jun 14, 2006 18:18:39 GMT -5
I will try, but I don't have many friends. ;D
That wasn't just a badly-worded sentence, either - I really don't have many friends.
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Mr. Winnfield
Tuxedo Wagon Staff
English motherfucker, doest thou speak it?
Posts: 85
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Post by Mr. Winnfield on Jun 14, 2006 18:21:02 GMT -5
Me neither, come to think of it. Most of mine are just bands that I like or people that found my Karl Pilkington remix on Google. I did feel awful after that, though. It's like, I only meant to mess around, you know when you pretend to hit somebody? But I was a bit rough, and then- then the- the dumpster! And- and boom!! A day that will live in infamy - a stain on my nearly-peaceful history. I don't think Coxy was too pleased, either. I love the fact that even though it was just messing around, you managed to both break his glasses and draw blood. Classic. (Don't feel bad. I laughed. In fact, I'm laughing now at the thought of it.)
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Mr. Queen
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Post by Mr. Queen on Jun 14, 2006 18:23:53 GMT -5
LMAO Poor Coxy...
The results were pretty dramatic, considering.
Then again, most things that happen to me are more dramatic than they should be. A short while ago I had a nosebleed. Within ten minutes, my whole face, my hands, my arms and my shirt were soaked with blood, there was blood all over the bathroom, spots of it trailing throughout the whole house, and a horror-movie-style bloody-handprint on the bathroom mirror.
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Mr. Winnfield
Tuxedo Wagon Staff
English motherfucker, doest thou speak it?
Posts: 85
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Post by Mr. Winnfield on Jun 14, 2006 18:24:12 GMT -5
Still laughing.
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Post by Dan Glencock on Jun 15, 2006 9:47:58 GMT -5
LMAO what actually happened then?
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Mr. Winnfield
Tuxedo Wagon Staff
English motherfucker, doest thou speak it?
Posts: 85
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Post by Mr. Winnfield on Jun 15, 2006 12:34:38 GMT -5
It's a calm summer's day. The heat is soothing and inoffensive.
Cue The Gazmus, Karl and myself. We, fresh from a stroll around the scenic fence that surrounds the school, spied a young man standing by a Biffa bin (one of the numerous Biffas that eventually succumbed to arson). Twas Coxy, before he discovered Bono and all that nonsense. Up went The Gazmus to give Coxy a few friendly mock-punches - "alright Coxy, ya bugger", he said, or words equally matey and inoffensive. I did likewise. Fun was being had by all.
Up steps Karl, and in a move taken from a hundred high-school sitcom bullies, pushed Coxy against the Biffa and proceeded to punch him considerably harder than The Gazmus or myself had done prior, all the while dealing him some of the inoffensive banter The Gazmus and I had previously sent his way. Cut to Coxy sliding to the floor, his glasses broken and bleeding in two places. Coxy had to go home, Karl apologized for getting 'carried away' (much like Sir Lancelot from the massacre scene in Monty Python And The Holy Grail), I laughed my ass off and still laugh about it every two to three weeks.
Synopsis: Coxy was, to use the correct legal term, done like a wet kipper.
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Mr. Winnfield
Tuxedo Wagon Staff
English motherfucker, doest thou speak it?
Posts: 85
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Post by Mr. Winnfield on Jun 15, 2006 12:36:10 GMT -5
And after reading that through about five times thinking "did I really call Gareth "The Gazmus" that many times!?", I have just discovered the newest filtered word. Kudos to Karl.
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Mr. Queen
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Post by Mr. Queen on Jun 15, 2006 12:56:53 GMT -5
I still feel bad about the whole thing, but the way you told it did make me laugh. XD As for the filtered word, I just feel the need to filter lots of words! I'm sure you understand.
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Mr. Winnfield
Tuxedo Wagon Staff
English motherfucker, doest thou speak it?
Posts: 85
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Post by Mr. Winnfield on Jun 15, 2006 13:06:20 GMT -5
You really beat him up though, that's what I loved about it. You really gave his balls a good sucking.
...
I mean punching. Face a good punching.
...
You going to Engrish on the morow [sic]?
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Mr. Queen
Tuxedo Wagon Staff
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Posts: 100
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Post by Mr. Queen on Jun 15, 2006 13:18:40 GMT -5
I am going, yeah. English is the only lesson I'm ever going to, ever again. I revise at home for History and ICT ended.
I don't think I'm the only one who simply can't wait to get out of school forever.
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